What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
