Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Randomize
