It's Friday. Sex?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
