I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
