So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
