Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So many bounce houses so little time
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
