Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
