I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
