I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
