stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
