I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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