clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So much rum. So many feels.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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