I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
