well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
