Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Damn victory sex feels great
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
