Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Send help, water and tortillas.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize