i just identified you from a description of your pipe
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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