I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
