Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize