i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
