3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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