one two three fourrrrnication!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
as a side note pls kill me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
