Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
