I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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