sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
