Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
