her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
