capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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