Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
