dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Mom said you looked used
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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