Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize