how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
