I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
