In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
