Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
