Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
