toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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