Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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