she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
