I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
FUCK WHALES
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
