I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
