I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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