I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
