It's just like the Real World with babies
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
