Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
