would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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