oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
3pm strippers are depressing
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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