My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
