Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize