There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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