Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
