What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
