He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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