Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
