2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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