I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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