just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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