take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
