so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
