i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
