Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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